Couple of days ago a gentle request triggered me to go ahead and do some research over some topics that are taken for granted and the reminders are often neglected to emphasize on their importance. I then took some personal time to compile my research in to my personal blog for a way to keep myself reminded around those topics.
The topics are as follows along with some website addresses for quick read and giving them food for thought on a daily basis.
Research complied by Coffee in Style.
I stared at my keyboard for few minutes before I started to write my blog post called. “Black, White or Grey”. So many words and memories crossed my mind as I watched my fingers typing one character to another forming a word and then creating a sentence. A while back I read the following quote from Justin Timberlake, “The gray area, the place between black and white – that’s the place where life happens”.
“Black, White or Grey” – is a very diverse topic of discussion with different conclusions drawn by each and every one. However, it is important to consider that how this phenomena fits itself in the form of a communication and dealing with people? It is an established fact that everyone has different personalities with different behavior traits. Some individuals seem themselves fit in the category of highly sensitive people, while other consider themselves as strong, stubborn and not easily affected by criticism or negativity around them. However one categorizes themselves, the fact doesn’t get changed that each and every one adhere to conversations and communications in their own unique and learned way that could have been acquired from different life experiences.
It is a common saying and reference point among many individuals that, “I am either black or white in my dealings and there is nothing in between.” At times having this personality trait holds deep value in itself yet at other times it could deliver mixed message of lacking a balance.
The question then arises related to, what is balance or to be exact what is a balanced approach? One can apply the understanding of balance in many aspects such as communication, dealing with people, conflict resolution, maintaining work life balance, and the list goes on. To me the sole purpose of maintaining balance is to achieve desirable results on a mutually agreed ground without evoking any hurt feelings for all parties involved if possible and ability to move forward without any grudge in heart.
After establishing firm understanding around balance the phenomena “Black, white or grey” get easy to achieve and can be applied properly in day to day life. I can strongly advocate from my experience that being totally black and white in personal matters at times creates a stressful situation and the outcome might not be a win-win situation. I strongly believe that whichever approach one chooses, the underline notion and intention should be to maintain balance.
I glanced at my purple hand bag
hanging over the hook.
In a corner of a room,
With sunlight coming on it.
I felt happy and connected.
I then glanced at the window,
I saw kids playing in the street with
faces filled with energy and glow.
I felt at peace.
But then I looked at my TV set,
Watched the news that was on.
I happened to see a same purple hand bag
Held tightly by a little boy
all covered in dirt.
His eyes full of fear,
and lips trembling with pain.
He stood in a corner with a purple hand bag.
Hoping his mom will see her bag from a distance
And will come and rescue him.
Will take him home where no
sign of fear, hate and war will exist.
I again looked at my purple hand bag
and tears rolled down from my eyes.
Ever wondered to yourself what exactly the word “intimacy” means? The dictionary meaning of intimacy is closeness. However, in today’s world this word is mostly used in expressing feelings towards another person in a sexual way thus re-defining and narrowing down its scope.
Just like evolution, intimacy has revolved itself according to the modern era, but the underlying essence and phenomenon is always the same which means – CLOSENESS.
Closeness is often looked upon and measured at physical level among individuals. However, closeness is not limited to physical level only. Getting close on a physical level is just one aspect of expressing emotions and feelings towards another individual.
Many will agree that closeness among individuals exists at psychological and mental level which however, is overlooked at times.
It won’t be entirely wrong to say that intimacy is a form of closeness either at physical, emotional, or mental level that promotes deep sense of caring, protecting and looking out for each other. Said that little acts of kindness, positive talk, uplifting and reaching out for each other all comes under a big umbrella of intimacy.
However, having a strong bond of trust and acceptance among individuals is one of the most important and underlying key factor in developing, maintaining and upholding the feeling of intimacy. The following quote truly expresses the key-point of this post.
Have you ever listened to the sound
when the glass fell on the floor?
Have you ever listened to the sound
when the tree fell in the forest?
Have you ever listened to the sound
when an object fell in the water?
But you will never listen to the sound,
that comes from the shattered heart.
You will only see flock of birds
That is the sound only the universe can hear.
Starring at steam coming out of my hot tea in front of me in my favorite tea mug, one thought after another came in my mind and then faded away just like hot steam from my tea started to settle down.
I then looked at the title I gave to my article – “5 fingers”. Instantly my mind started to reel at various incidents around the globe among various communities, religions, race, and countries. Of course media plays a very powerful role in delivering these incidents to us. However, sometimes creating a positive influence on others yet at times fueling up negative thoughts and emotions among individuals of all age groups. Whatever, the impression might be given by media, the outcome sometimes fades away instantly and sometimes it lasts forever.
5 fingers? What does it symbolizes? The answer to this question is very simple. The way our 5 fingers are not same and equal, similarly no two individuals are alike. Since no two individuals are alike, one cannot be punished because of actions of the other.
When we are able to understand this symbolism that is created by nature, it is very easy to detach oneself from the negativity of racism, by looking at the incidents that are happening around the globe among people of different religions and communities.
In today’s world where social media plays a vital role, sharing negative contents even for having few laughs is a crime in itself. One must not underestimate the degree of this crime because the effects of sharing negative content that promotes hate and triggers violence among people of different religion is a biggest threat to the whole mankind and the damage is irreversible.
At the end of the day, one must realize that life is a precious gift of nature. Each and every individual around the globe cherishes life in their own unique way and pay gratitude to nature in their own form of worship. There is absolutely no harm in sharing best practices and understandings of the way one expresses gratitude to nature with each other. However, the intention should always be to promote peace, preserve life and nurture humanity.
Back in school days I always used to wonder what does “developing as a person” really mean. At times the message communicated through educational institutes and professionals conveyed dual and mixed message to understand this term. Does developing as a person mean higher grades or does it mean to excel and thrive among yourself to become a more accepting and understanding individual?
The message I would like to pass on to young and growing minds is that developing as a person means, to understand that learning and seeking knowledge is not limited to classroom or lecture hall experiences. Knowledge is all around us. As human beings, it is our duty towards nature to question and to seek out answers through constant tries and errors.
Knowledge these days is categorized in to areas and is distinguished by subject names from math, chemistry, biology, physics, astronomy and the list continues. Knowledge is not limited to one area of expertise. From grooming to raising a family evolves knowledge and during this process one must discover themselves and then develop themselves as a better human being.
Developing as a person also means to have the courage to accept. Practicing acceptance not only in the form of success but also developing strength to face and fight failure, defeat, criticism, hatred, negativity, rejection, isolation yet finding strategies to cope with the outcomes and allowing yourself to move forward in life. Trying out different possibilities to achieve positive outcomes and personal satisfaction is a part of developing yourself.
Developing yourself often is divided in to categories for ease of understanding. Many professionals and individuals will argue that there is two types of developments professional and personal development. I strongly believe and would like to emphasize that to me professional and personal development is the same phenomena as it evolves around an individual however in different areas of life.
Developing as a person is the hardest role that one has to understand, and practice almost every day in their life. The role is hard there is no doubt about it, but it is not impossible. Each and every one of us can improve ourselves in certain areas of life with some effort yet producing tremendous positive results around us.