From last few days I have been reflecting upon this word “Success”. I guess my anxiety flared up with a fast approaching change in my work place and new job positions opening up with tough criteria and assessment exams involved. It will be total wrong of me to not accept that yes I got nervous, anxious of losing out.
One day, as per my usual practice in the morning, I was reading my affirmations from “Motivational Moments” by Mufti Menk who is a famous Muslim scholar from Zimbabwe and the following quote gave me much mental clarity and helped me change my thought process around the dictionary definition of the word success which means, ”
a performance or achievement that is marked by success, as by the attainment of honors.”
Rather I found total relief in the following words,
“Don’t be frustrated when you see no results after trying. There’s a lesson there. You may be struggling but it doesn’t mean you are failing. “
After reading this I must admit I felt lighter knowing that even trying out for something new and going through a selection process is also a success in itself. After gaining this understanding, I was able to cope up with my feeling of anxiety and nervousness and was able to develop a plan to follow to achieve a positive experience.
When I was browsing books on Amazon for my Kindle download, this specific title caught my attention. I looked at my computer screen for few seconds before downloading this book on my device. Why did I take only a few seconds to buy this title? What was so special about this book? Questions like these came in my mind and faded away but some part of me knew the answer to these questions and similar to them that often arise in my mind.
What caught my attention was the second part of the title “Have thick skin”. Before I proceed with this article, I must clarify that I am not a psychologist; however, once in a while I like to read self-help books as a reminder, to heal myself, to learn new techniques or to revisit the old ones just to strengthen my skills of dealing with various emotions that each one of us encounters throughout the day.
The book “How to be emotionally strong and have thick skin” written by Nicolla Trilliby is about 38 pages long that took me as around 30 – 45 minutes to read. I first thought to myself that what will this 5 chapter book deliver that will be effective but can also be practically applied in day-to-day life. To my surprise, this short book offered lot more than that I anticipated. To be accurate, this books offers strong reminders in a very firm tone required to develop emotional strength and deliver ideas of developing a thick skin. It also highlights pros and cons of each skin type in a short, simple manner.
Thick Skin VS Thin Skin is a very popular topic among self-help guides. What exactly is Thick Skin Vs Thin Skin? Do we classify ourselves as thick skin all the time? Is there any phenomenon between these two words like Medium Skin? 🙂 I am sure these questions cross everyone’s mind occasionally. The understanding I got after reading the first chapter of this books was that “thin-skinned” people are highly sensitive to the chaos of outside world and their emotions can be easily triggered by any rude, unexpected, hurtful, unfair gesture. At times they are stuck trying to understand and answer the question, “WHY ME”? This doesn’t mean that thin-skinned people are not strong or they are not of positive nature. The book highlights that thin skinned people are always in need of seeking approval of others, yet at times focusing the major part of their energies in proving themselves. In doing this, they at time give their power away to other person, thus making them vulnerable. On the contrary , “thick-skinned” people retains their emotional stability by holding on to their inner peace and not caring what others really think of them. They work in their own medium and have the ability to slide off the negativity around them. Mastering this special trait allows them to find themselves less in conflict situations thus maintaining their emotional strength and energy.
The book offers steps to those who like to master the trait of being thick skinned. The message I got after completing this book was to find happiness among yourself and accept difficult people as they are. Most importantly, by developing this trait of letting go of what others think about oneself makes a huge impact on ones overall emotional and mental health.
I would definitely give this book 5 stars and would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for some techniques to strengthen their emotional control and develop understanding around being too sensitive and maintaining a balanced personality.
Review written by N. Reflection
Poetry – ever lasting language of soul,
Bound to leave an impression,
Nurtured with life experiences,
Defines it’s own existence.
Sitting in the hospital’s waiting room,
Waiting patiently with throbbing heart,
Looking at each patient walking in and out,
Some with a smile on their face,
Yet others with questions in their eyes,
Whatever the reasons might be,
Each wanted a chance to cherish life again.
Relationships are like rainbow in the sky,
Unique, colorful each with it’s own place,
Offers peace, harmony in it’s own time,
Cherish them always, everyday, everywhere,
As without one, life will certainly go out of line.
Life is like a long, stretched out road,
Bumpy at times yet smooth otherwise,
No one can predict what is around the corner,
Nor they can tell when the road ends.
The direction is one but journeys many,
Each has its own sail to carry.
Keep moving, progressing forward,
With eyes on the horizon and hope in heart,
The quest is adventurous yet peaceful at times,
Rest assure that destination will soon arrive.
Most of the time I get compliments from family and friends that my parties are very organized and fun. The common question I get asked is ‘how do you do it?’ I thought of having a little break from writing poetry and share some of my tips and tricks that I have achieved and mastered from experience, trial and error and having a sense of creativity.
In the post below I will list and outline some of my approaches that I take when organizing get together at home from a simple play date to birth day parties to formal dinners, lunches, and tea time.
- Determine a date and time of the party.
- Choose a time and date that is convenient for yourself and for your guests too. If the party is on the weekend, make sure to choose a time that suits parents of young children going to school next day.
- 3 – 4 days before the party make sure the house is clean. Pay special attention to the house entrance. Remove any clutter that blocks the hallways or the entrance. If there is a coat closet, make sure to remove all unnecessary coats before the party to make room for guest’s coats. Same idea goes for any shoes in the closet.
- Pay special attention to the kitchen and entertaining area. Remove or hide any appliances on the kitchen counter top that won’t be used during the party.
- In the living room or family room of the house make sure that the side tables don’t have too much clutter or magazines on them. Having too many small decoration items on the side tables makes it very inconvenient for guest to place their drinks or plates when seated on coach.
- Invest in small folding chairs to be taken out when needed. Keep them stored away neatly in an area that is fast approachable during the party.
- Pay close attention to the guest washroom on the main floor. Make sure that there is extra toilet paper stored away in a cabinet. Remove any personal items from the guest washroom. Make sure that the guest towels are clean. It is good manners to place hand lotion and air freshener in the washroom.
- Keep in mind that having a party doesn’t only mean having a fun time, it also entails making guest comfortable in your house. A day before the party make sure that you complete your checklist of cutlery, plates and glasses for the guests and kids. Make sure to place them out neatly in piles on the serving table.
- Give special consideration to drinking water, juices and pops and have the cooler or jugs placed on the serving table as well during the party.
- Now the most important aspect of the party is to determine why you are throwing a party and what it entails. This is important to determine the food menu in your party. If their is any theme to the party like casual dressing or formal dressing, make sure to convey the message to the guests either verbally or write it on the invitation.
- Now comes the menu. I decide my menu by taking in to consideration allergies, vegetarian and non vegetarian options for my guests.
- Some of my common menu items are as follows that I mix and match accordingly:
- Home made potato salad with corns, green pepper, tomatoes and dressing.
- Garden salad
- Pasta with meat balls
- Baked Chicken with potato sides
- Mixed vegetable rice
- Friend Fish
- French Fries
- Chicken nuggets
- Beef stew with bread
- Spinach curry with feta cheese
- Stir fry vegetables
- Red Kidney Beans with minced meat.
- White Rice
- Egg Fried Noodles
- Stuffed peppers
- Spring Rolls
- Rice Pudding for Desert
- Cake for Desert
13. During the party I make sure to use warm burners to place dishes on. For stews and soups, I like to serve them in slow cooker as they remain hot through out. I place the bread in the bread container to keep it warm.
I hope some of these tips you will find useful for your upcoming party at home. Make sure to leave me a comment and also share your tips when organizing a party. 🙂