I stared at my keyboard for few minutes before I started to write my blog post called. “Black, White or Grey”. So many words and memories crossed my mind as I watched my fingers typing one character to another forming a word and then creating a sentence. A while back I read the following quote from Justin Timberlake, “The gray area, the place between black and white – that’s the place where life happens”.
“Black, White or Grey” – is a very diverse topic of discussion with different conclusions drawn by each and every one. However, it is important to consider that how this phenomena fits itself in the form of a communication and dealing with people? It is an established fact that everyone has different personalities with different behavior traits. Some individuals seem themselves fit in the category of highly sensitive people, while other consider themselves as strong, stubborn and not easily affected by criticism or negativity around them. However one categorizes themselves, the fact doesn’t get changed that each and every one adhere to conversations and communications in their own unique and learned way that could have been acquired from different life experiences.
It is a common saying and reference point among many individuals that, “I am either black or white in my dealings and there is nothing in between.” At times having this personality trait holds deep value in itself yet at other times it could deliver mixed message of lacking a balance.
The question then arises related to, what is balance or to be exact what is a balanced approach? One can apply the understanding of balance in many aspects such as communication, dealing with people, conflict resolution, maintaining work life balance, and the list goes on. To me the sole purpose of maintaining balance is to achieve desirable results on a mutually agreed ground without evoking any hurt feelings for all parties involved if possible and ability to move forward without any grudge in heart.
After establishing firm understanding around balance the phenomena “Black, white or grey” get easy to achieve and can be applied properly in day to day life. I can strongly advocate from my experience that being totally black and white in personal matters at times creates a stressful situation and the outcome might not be a win-win situation. I strongly believe that whichever approach one chooses, the underline notion and intention should be to maintain balance.
Ever wondered to yourself what exactly the word “intimacy” means? The dictionary meaning of intimacy is closeness. However, in today’s world this word is mostly used in expressing feelings towards another person in a sexual way thus re-defining and narrowing down its scope.
Just like evolution, intimacy has revolved itself according to the modern era, but the underlying essence and phenomenon is always the same which means – CLOSENESS.
Closeness is often looked upon and measured at physical level among individuals. However, closeness is not limited to physical level only. Getting close on a physical level is just one aspect of expressing emotions and feelings towards another individual.
Many will agree that closeness among individuals exists at psychological and mental level which however, is overlooked at times.
It won’t be entirely wrong to say that intimacy is a form of closeness either at physical, emotional, or mental level that promotes deep sense of caring, protecting and looking out for each other. Said that little acts of kindness, positive talk, uplifting and reaching out for each other all comes under a big umbrella of intimacy.
However, having a strong bond of trust and acceptance among individuals is one of the most important and underlying key factor in developing, maintaining and upholding the feeling of intimacy. The following quote truly expresses the key-point of this post.
Coping and accepting change is the topic we all can relate to at all times. “Change is constant”, I was once being told. It is true that change is constant. But coping with change requires some training, support, mentoring from people we trust and feel connected to at some level.
At times talking about change with others put one’s mind at ease. Discussing concerns related to change, sharing fears, making speculations around change at time helps one to cope with it in a positive way. Personally I can relate to this strategy as for me change at time is hard to acknowledge and accept. Accepting change is related to acknowledging fear of unknown. It is thus having fear of unknown which make the acceptance around change hard but not impossible.
Change is inevitable. There is no denying to this fact. However, coping with change is something we all need to master at our own level of comfort, and understanding without jeopardizing our personal values, emotional, physical and mental health. Just like John F. Kennedy said, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
Change comes around in variety of different ways, forms and styles. We as a human are designed to adapt to change as per our biological make. Humans are designed to cope with change whether it is related to social, economic, environmental, and financial or any other factor one cannot even comprehend. How and why is this possible? The answer to this questions lies in the history of mankind. Humans are known to be the survivors, the seekers, above all the conquerors through history and time.
Embracing this understanding and acknowledgement gives us hope that change can also be conquered and outcomes can be positive or can be redirected to a suitable form of acceptance.
This is my very first article on my blog. My mind has been railing from one topic to another for the last couple of days on what should I be writing on that will get me that dot on that little bell icon in the top right hand corner of the screen in WordPress. Yes it is true, that little red dot on the bell is quite an inspiration for not all but the majority of us to some extent. It serves as a booster that someone, out there can relate to us and vice versa. Said that I wanted to write my first write-up on fear. This one word exists in everyone’s life. For some the degree of this word might be way higher and for the others this word will motivate them to change something in their life, to try out something new, to excel and not to fall back. For me this words means at times to be careful, danger ahead, watch your back, take one step at a time, above all trust your instinct.
We all have fears. But what exactly is a fear. Is it like a shadow that follows us everywhere and when you turn around changes its direction? Or is it like that knot in our heart that when it happens, we can’t even drink a sip of water?
For me fear is a feeling. It is a feeling, a warning that I will get hurt physically, emotionally and mentally if I didn’t do my best whether at work, home, among relationships.
Writing this article made me realize that I cannot control the outside world. I cannot control how people react, I cannot control other people’s anger or annoyance towards me or my values. Said that I should not even bother explaining myself to them, I am what I am. My weaknesses could serve as my strengths at times. It is not for anyone to decide how to treat me. It is for me to decide who I am and where I want to go.
With that will, fear can be tamed. Can be directed. Can be controlled.
We do not lie in the hands of fear. Fear is within us. We are the one who can control it, channel it out and can ultimately conquer it.
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